I don’t know, fam ¯\_(⊙∩⊙)_/¯

Ahoy, all! v:

Sorry for the inactivity.

My mind feels like it’s trapped in a void. And I don’t know how to explain my absence, but – ah – here goes nothing!

 

Sometimes it feels like there’s not enough time to do things.

I usually have 12 hours each day to do things. And when I look at what I have to do: school, eat, walk the dogs, sit with a plant for an hour in the sun, etc; it feels like there’s not enough time to do hobbies.

And you may be thinking, “What about the weekend?”. Well, I’m busy on those days too.

Family matters and stuff.

I have been trying to get 6-8 hours of sleep instead of the 12 hours, but my brain won’t cooperate… I need an alarm clock or something. .__.

And I’m going to be needing to get a part-time job soon, so getting 16 hours of awake time is a must.

My brain is a little deep fried – hahah.

Even after 2 months, my brain is still getting used to the thought of school. And math has been quite an evil mushroom (I don’t like mushrooms – hahah). But I’m not ungrateful. Actually, I’m quite happy and excited I’m doing schoolwork. I’m finally doing schooling how I’ve wished I’d done it for years!

But there are these lingering thoughts like “I’m not doing enough” and “I’m so behind that I should quit”. And trying to tell people in-depth about my situation, it feels like some of them think it’s weird, wrong, idiotic and/or hilarious. And I feel very out of place.

I understand that many mistakes were made, and I question if I’m really doing the right thing.

And people might say, “Why don’t you just get a GED?”. Well, sorry to anger those people, but I just can’t. And this’ll probably sound extremely stupid to say, but I prefer earning credits. I can’t just study and study and study without gaining something cool out of it every once in a while (not saying GEDs aren’t cool tho). I just feel more accomplished going through high school and earning those delicious, scrumptious credits. ~3~

All of the bad thoughts are just weighing me down, and trying to do at least 4 hours of schoolwork is a little stressful. xD

I have a difficult time saying no.

I’m like one of those extremely unlucky and unfortunate people who are too introverted (jyou’re all coolio doodlios tho). I’ll be doing my own thing, thinking of doing it or preparing to, and someone will stomp up to me and demand me to do something. And I have to say okay because they’re angry.

But – ah – then, I try to kinda… avoid them or try going back to what I was doing…

But then they keep coming back in a raging ball of fury… And I finally tell them that I just wanted to do my own thing, and they get more frustrated and have an even harder time understanding… v__v

So, that and some other emotional things don’t give my happy chemicals. A-and we all know that happy chemicals give people creative and productive minds!

Something I don’t have at the moment – hahah. xP

 

And that’s pretty much all I can say at the moment – I’m tired… x)

But I’m going to try to be a better, happier and healthier person, so I can be more productive and have creative and cool stuff up for you doods. ^-^

And please tell me your struggles and stuff – I need friends… v:

 

Have an amazing night/day, everyone!

– Chops

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